We’re Right…And You’re Not

Recently we had a visit from two religious workers, from an organization which will remain unnamed, who suggested we distribute their literature to our “young people.” The pair’s organization is not considered to be an orthodox Christian group and they don’t consider our fellowship to be part of the true church. This might not seem that unusual, but they came right up to our office (in the heart of “the enemy’s camp”) to do their proselytizing. This must have been a thrilling and bold mission for them. For me it was a lesson in smugness.

After politely telling these ladies that we were not interested and that we have obvious disagreements with them, the leader of their team, not to be put off, proceeded to ask others in the office if they would personally want the material. After another round of polite rebuffing the couple left. What struck me, beside the sheer audacity, was that the feeling they gave me was similar to the impact some Christians have had on me, in particular those Christians that know they are right and know they have the truth and know that you need what they have. I searched for a word to describe this feeling and “smug” came to mind. “Smug” sounds so negative, but after looking it up in the dictionary, I had to admit that it captured perfectly the attitude of those with the, “We’re the ones,” mentality. Smug means contentedly confident of one’s ability, superiority, or correctness. We’re right, and you’re not.

Confession time: I have been smug more times than I’d care to admit. I’ve also met a lot of smug people in my life. Maybe one of the clues that shows us we’re smug is if we think we’ve never been. You’ve got to wonder how God puts up with us. But my point here isn’t to show how un-smug I am now, but to express grief and encourage a little humility. I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of our problems come from thinking too highly of ourselves.

Perhaps those on a truth crusade genuinely realize that if someone is embracing lies it will be destructive to them. And with that I say a wholehearted, “Amen.” But why aren’t truth crusaders kind? Shouldn’t a love of the truth make us more gentle and generous? Is the real motive behind truth crusading to make myself feel superior? That would explain why warmth and kindness seems to be lacking in many who feel they must convert or correct you. The ultimate truth is love.

I’m not getting wishy-washy in my old age. I’m just seeing that God is more generous than I ever conceived and the world is bigger than I ever imagined. I also realize that if I have not love, I am just a noisy gong and clanging cymbal. Truth should transform us. It should make us more like Christ. Yes, truth divides. Yes, truth is worth standing up for. But let’s understand that the ultimate demonstration that we’re committed to truth is through our deference and humility. As Harry Conn used to say, “True education humbles a person, not puffs them up.”

Is God Mission?

What we think about God has a crucial impact on how we order our life. To think about God is to think about the ultimate. As the “ultimate” God becomes our model. We emulate what we think He is like. Whether consciously or not, we will seek to follow His example. If we see God as an overbearing authoritarian, there is a good chance we’ll act like an overbearing authoritarian when we’re in a leadership position. Many husbands betray their view of God when they demand submission from their wives (God never demands submission). In light of this, having a right view of God becomes very important for us.

There has been a trend in theology since the mid-twentieth century to think of mission as an attribute of God. In many ways this was a reaction to the emphasis of mission being thought primarily as an activity of the Church to help lost individuals find salvation. Mission as an attribute of God, sometimes referred to as the missio dei (the Mission of God), gives us the concept that mission isn’t the Church’s idea, but at the very heart of God. God, in sending His Son into the world, is a missionary God. He is the initiator of mission and we participate in His initiative (this is a woefully brief explanation of missio dei). Today this emphasis is found in the missional movement. Honestly, I fear to tread into this territory, being quite aware that so many smarter than me have written and thought extensively about this. But having some experience in mission (nine years as a missionary) and thirty years living in community I have a few thoughts about this matter.

I am not sure it is helpful to think of mission as an attribute of God. Of course, I agree that God is the initiator of relationships and compassionate outreach to others, and that Jesus’ incarnation manifested the self-giving, self-sacrificing, status-renouncing love of God (Phil. 2). I also agree that the Church should not be a closed cultural ghetto, indifferent to the context and fearful of the stranger. But the Bible is pretty clear that the central definition of God is love, not mission (1 John 4:8). Like the Eastern Orthodox teach, God has His being in communion. God is not just a giver, He is a sharer.

The problem with seeing mission as an attribute of God is that it makes God more like a benefactor than a person in relationships of mutual love. God having His being in communion means that mutual fellowship, giving and receiving, defines who He is. Trinity says that the ultimate characteristic of the universe is communion. A benefactor is one who has an abundance giving to one who lacks. The receiver becomes an object of generosity. The benefactor remains in a position of power and doesn’t enter into a relationship of mutuality with the recipient, which is a requirement of love. If the advent of Jesus taught us anything, it is that powerlessness is God’s way.

The impact of this “missional concept” is that it will make us think that the Church serves the utilitarian purpose of mission rather than is a reflection of the being of God manifested through the relationships of its members. When you put purpose above people you get a society not a community. The Church doesn’t need a useful mission to justify its existence. Its existence is its mission; love experienced and expressed reflects the nature of God. Our outreach to the world around us may not be accomplished through an attractional model, but it is accomplished through fascination. Like the nation of Israel, the Church is to be a city set on a hill. As I heard an engaging speaker say recently, manifesting glimpses of the coming Kingdom is the only way to overcome the skepticism of people rooted in their idolatrous desires and struggles with the problem of evil. Put simply, only by living out mutual love with others do we have any hope of convincing people that Jesus is Lord.

“As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.” John 17:18-21.

Good Samaritan - Bad Husband

“I want to argue that loving one another well as the people of God for the sake of the world is the game we are supposed to be playing. It’s not a waste of time, it’s not naval gazing, it’s not self-absorption. It’s actually how we are able to function as the incarnate body of Christ on earth. More than we know it, the world is watching and the world is hungry for the gospel to be truly good news. Jesus said ‘by this all will come to know you are my disciples, if you love one another.’ I will show myself to be a disciple of Jesus not by my personal piety or faithfulness, but by my love for my brothers and sisters and theirs for me. The corporate demonstration validates the witness. That’s quite astonishing. If we don’t love each other, it would be kind of like following the Good Samaritan home and discovering that he beats his wife! That might be a bit dramatic, but you get my point.” Debbie Gish, Church of the Sojourners

Thinking like a Christian

“A Christian worldview should remind us of our multifaceted dependence on God’s goodness, which should foster humility within us. Thus, humility is an important indicator of whether we are progressing toward conformity with God’s story. The same could be said of becoming more loving toward God and others or living a life characterized by gratitude toward God. Both not only provide a partial answer to our first question - ‘What should we expect from a Christian worldview?’ - they also address the second question - ‘What are the indicators that we are growing toward the ideal, represented by God’s story?’” Steve Wilkens and Mark L. Sanford, Hidden Worldviews: Eight Cultural Stories That Shape Our Lives

Say True, Stay True

What makes relationships work? Whatever it is, it has to be one of the most important things to know because the meaningful and important things in our lives have to do with relationships. For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his relationships – especially those key relationships like family and friends. Fortunately, the answer is quite simple: honesty and commitment.

Relationships are built on trust and trust demands honesty. Honesty seems to be the essential virtue in the parable of the sower and the seeds (Luke 8:15). When we are the same person on the outside as we are on the inside we invite people to trust us. This kind of honest integrity makes people feel safe and allows them to truly know us, to truly have communion with us. If on the other hand you play your cards close to the vest, showing me only a poker face, how in the world can I entrust myself to you, and why would I? I don’t want to be manipulated. I want to be loved.

Relationships, and life in general, are full of ups and downs. We are going to disappoint each other and life is going to be hard. I need to know you’ll be there for me even if I fail. And you need to know that I’ve “thrown away the key” and will stick with you through the thick and thin. Commitment is what allows us to build our relationship on a solid, immovable foundation. It enables us to relax and be ourselves and weather the changes because there’s something unchangeable that holds us together. If I know you’ll be there tomorrow, I can be myself today. If I know your friendship won’t change tomorrow, I can endure the changes of today.

Good relationships are what everybody wants. Close relationships are what everybody needs. We can have them if we want, but we must choose honesty and commitment. We must say true and stay true. Relationships, like everything else in this universe, follow a set of rules. If we practice honesty and commitment our relationships will blossom like the seed yielding a hundredfold.  And that’s worth the world if you ask me.

We have enough time…for what we want

“…we frequently say that we do not have enough time for something. In reality, these statements are rarely true. If we are honest, ‘not enough time’ can almost always be translated as, ‘I did not do that because it was not a high priority.’ Someone committed to an individualistic worldview will find time for different things than we would see on a New Ager’s schedule. Similarly, the highest ethical loyalties of a nationalist will vary significantly from those of a committed Christian.” Steve Wilkens, Hidden Worldviews: Eight Cultural Stories That Shape Our Lives

How to Fight Like a Christian

This time of year we gather around the Thanksgiving table with family.  Fall colors, generous portions of pie, football games, and a golden brown turkey are all on the menu.  The warmth of hearth and home fill our hearts during this special family holiday.   If only the actual members of our families were as pleasant and cozy as this idyllic image.  Brothers we exchanged harsh words with, uncles without manners, controlling mothers and alienated daughters sit around this family table.  We love family, it’s people we have a hard time with.  Why is this so painfully true?  Because people are not idyllic, they’re real.

What makes relationships worth having is the fact that we can’t control them.  We are thrilled when someone freely chooses to love us because we know they didn’t have to.  But if they are free to choose us they are also free to reject us.  Human will is so mysterious, so independent, and so free that it has the power to baffle and frighten.  So, is the goal of a loving family culture possible?  Yes it is, if we strive to become the kind of person who is capable of communion.

We can start by learning how to have conflict.  Since people are real they will be different.  That difference is what leads to conflict.  It’s natural, it’s normal, and it’s not necessarily bad.  When two people dance they have to adjust themselves to each other’s movements.  If one partner imposes his will on the other, the dance becomes stiff, ugly, and toes are stepped on.  When a couple dances gracefully, however, they may tread on each other’s toes, but they continually learn how to become more fluid in their movements, together striving to solve the missteps.  They don’t fight each other.

When people have conflict they tend see themselves on opposite sides of a line of battle.  They lob arguments, emotions, and strong words in hopes of winning.  But we’re not at war with our family and friends.  We’re on their side.  Rather, like a dance, we should see ourselves in a circle, looking at the problem together, not like a war, seeing ourselves on either side of a battle line.  The win is when both of us change and we learn to gracefully step in unison.

Conflict is normal because we’re different.  Our love and friendship compel us to tackle this problem together as partners not enemies.  When we do, the warmth and joy it brings is truly something for which to be thankful.

Think, Act, Befriend

“All meaningful knowledge is for the sake of action, and all meaningful action for the sake of friendship.” John Macmurray, The Self as Agent

Who Am I?

I’ve enjoyed reading Joel Green’s Body, Soul, and Human Life.  While I can’t say I fully understand or agree with everything I’ve read, it has been very helpful in connecting the dots of several concepts, particularly, how we are to think about ourselves.  Green makes the case that we shouldn’t see ourselves in a Cartesian way (i.e. René Descartes of “I think, therefore I am” fame), meaning that our true self is mind or spirit quite apart from our bodies.  Rather, Green says that human identity is threefold: physicality, relationality, and narrativity.  This has important implications for community, which I’d like to explore briefly.

Physicality
Our bodies are not something we have but part of who we are.  The Scriptures talk about bodily resurrection, not a disembodied spiritual existence, so even in the after life, the body will matter.  What does this mean for us?  Among other things, it means that what I do with my body is important.  It means my gender matters and is part of who I am.  It means that this life and creation are good, to be cared for and treasured, and not to be seen as alien and sinful.  It means that caring for people’s physical needs cannot be separated from caring for their “spiritual needs.”  As Green says, “Angst among Christians in recent decades over how to prioritize ministries of ‘evangelism’ and ’social witness’ is simply wrongheaded, therefore, since the gospel, the ‘evangel’ of ‘evangelism’ cannot but concern itself with human need in all its aspects.”

Relationality
Individualism is the plague of our time and is fully at play in the Church.  Cartesian thinking makes us believe that our identity, our true self, is a personal possession of an inner reality.  It’s me and Jesus and all I need is some good instruction to be a better me. The truth is that we are a inextricably part of a web of relationships.  We are part of a community and our identity is tied into that network of people.  Green points out that our brains are actually shaped by our relationships, so in a very tangible sense, our relationships shape who we are.  There are no loners, and to try to be one is to fight against reality.  This is why cherishing, developing, and enjoying our relationships must be our prime task in life.  Quoting Green, “…we are shaped in our character and limited in our choices by the company we keep.”

Narrativity
The stories by which we make sense of our lives play a part in forming who we are.  Our life is less like the running of a machine and more like the performance of a drama.   Our history matters.  Our direction matters. We need to know, like Jesus, where we come from and where we’re going (John 13:3-4).  Our story and the overarching story we identify with sculpts us profoundly.  Narrative disrupting experiences, like divorce, hurt us because whole chapters of our lives become off-limits.  We can’t escape our history (so true especially today in a Facebook world).  This is a further reason to continue in our relationships and work through difficulties.  Additionally, we need to actively recall and rehearse the overarching narrative of God that we are a part of.  Liturgy, regular scripture reading, and flowing in the rhythm of the Christian calendar are ways to do this.

This understanding of our nature impacts and supports the vision of Christian community.  We are not marbles in a bucket, but cells in a body.  Green would say, “…who we are, our personhood, is inextricably bound up in our physicality, and so is inextricably tied to the cosmos God has created, and in the sum of our life experiences and relationships.”  Christian community fits well in this view of humanity.

Where are you being formed?

“For 1 Peter, then, human life is life on the potter’s wheel, so to speak - being shaped one way or the other, by the ancestral ways expressed in taken-for-granted social conventions, or by the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit and the formative influence of the people of God. Humans act out of their formation, so the primary questions must be, Formed according to what pattern?  Formed within what community?” Joel B. Green Body, Soul, and Human Life