The following is the meditation I was privileged to share at Karen’s memorial service. Sarah Harding made the video which also was shown at the service. Karen was precious to us. We will miss her dearly.

Today was a brilliantly sunny day and I couldn’t help but think of Karen. She was sunshine personified. How do you comprehend someone as wonderful as Karen? To really understand Karen’s life, you have to understand the gospel, because that’s what she lived for.

But the gospel is understood differently by people. Some see the gospel as a way to get one’s sins forgiven. Another sees the gospel as a way to get to heaven. Still others see the gospel as a philosophy of life or ideology or a message to spread. While it may be some of those things, none of those truly capture the full meaning of the gospel. The gospel is good news. But what kind of good news? Is it simply good news about not going to hell?

The gospel is good news that God is fixing what is broken about mankind. It’s good news that God loves people and wants to heal us and make us whole. He wants to see mankind again find happiness, love, and warmth in our relationships with Him and each other. And the good news is that He is making a way for this to become a reality – the New Creation. The gospel is first and foremost about the restoration of community.

I keep coming back to this thought: whenever I think of our work here I remember that it’s really about the specific people in our community, not about some ideal. I must have a zeal for them, for their welfare, for their uniqueness, for them as my friends. If I don’t have this, I truly believe I don’t have a whole lot to offer in the way of spirituality.

My experience has been as I’ve traveled quite extensively in the church is that the one thing that seems to be the hardest to do and the most neglected is radical commitment to other brothers and sisters. People will go to the end of the earth and live in crushing poverty, they’ll give lots of money, they’ll do almost anything other than fully pour out their life for another brother or sister. Commitment in the church just doesn’t seem that important. But the truth is, it is the key thing God is trying to do in the world and that’s why it is so aggressively opposed by Satan.

The church is a foretaste of the New Creation. As a church we are to model now the kind of relationships that will characterize the New Creation. That’s the key to understanding Karen’s life.

Butch told us about Karen’s life and said, “Karen loved God and people. Her smile brought joy to everyone she met. She tirelessly served people. She enjoyed birding, music, and reading, but her greatest joy was knowing, loving and serving people.” Karen’s life reflected the gospel message. She bet her life on the gospel. It was worth it to her. She lived that future reality in the now. The New Creation was dawning in Karen’s every action. Karen answered the prayer we pray every morning: Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as in heaven. She had caught a vision of this kingdom of love, believed in it, lived it, worked to bring it about. Karen lived this way and fully expected to keep living this way for all of eternity, and that thrilled her.

Karen’s life spoke. It pointed to a future hope. Her life gently urges us to rethink our priorities. What’s worth living for? What matters? Ambitions do not matter. Material possessions do not matter. Reputation does not matter. People matter. Real people. Specific people. In the end only relationships matter.

What can it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul? This isn’t about going to heaven and avoiding hell. This is about missing the thing that matters most in this universe, the thing that makes us human, the thing that gives meaning to human existence. Our soul is the center of who we are. We were made for relationships, for love, for friendship. If we center on things, center on career, center on achievements, we lose our soul.

God is all about love, about community, about people – knowing them, loving them, and serving them. The gospel is about the restoration of a community of mankind in love with the Trinity and with each other. It’s good news that God is creating a place where His family can be happy, healthy, and whole; a place where we can know, love, and serve each other – for therein is true joy.

Karen awaits us for the dawning of that New Creation. If she could be here now she would smile that incredible smile, and let us know that with Jesus she is making a place for us in that new New Creation.

Karen, my close friend, went to be with the Lord on May 1st. Her memorial service was one of the hardest and most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced. Tim, her husband, movingly shared about her life and his love for her. He also read letters from their sons. He wanted me to share what they said.

TIM

Karen and I met here in September 1984 when we were both students. As I got to know her, I was drawn to her by the warmth of her personality, her love and concern for others, but most of all her deep desire to follow Jesus and to know what Jesus meant when he promised to give life and life more abundant to those who followed him.

At the end of our year of training, Karen and I each felt led of God to join the staff. Soon after, we went through a time of renewal and testing that refined our lives, deepened our commitments, and bound us together with others in relationships that grew to become this Fellowship. These experiences strengthened the friendship that Karen and I had, but it was not until 1992 that we were attracted to each other at a deeper level and we began to pray about God’s will for our lives together. Once we were convinced that it was God’s will for us marry, we moved ahead quickly and on January 23, 1993, we were married.

In August of 1995, we were blessed with the arrival of Jordan, and in October 1997, we had the further blessing of welcoming Derek to our family. The boys were a source of joy to Karen and will continue to be so to me. I know they will grow up to be young men she would be proud of.

Marriage to Karen was an adventure, because of the kind of person she was. Through her, I learned more of what it means to love another person and what it means for a couple to love Jesus together. I learned so much from Karen and she gave so much to me, but the most important thing was that she drew me into a deeper love for Jesus so that we not only grew in our love for each other but in our love for him.

But Karen’s love extended beyond our marriage and family. She cared deeply for her mom, her dad, and her sister. When her dad died, she felt the loss keenly and sought to be a source of comfort and support to her mother. She also loved Life Mission Fellowship. She loved this place and its purpose, but most of all she loved the people who are part of it. They were not just her friends, they were her larger family. And in the days since Karen’s death, it is the love of this family for Karen and the boys and me that has surrounded and carried me every step of this painful part of our life together. We are discovering in new deeper ways what it means to love and care for each other. For this, I will always be grateful.

Karen had always enjoyed good health, so when she began to experience some physical problems in the last week or two, we were not unduly concerned. She did, however, consult with her primary care giver and her gynecologist to find out what might be the cause. The tests they administered gave no indication of a life-threatening problem. She was given medication for the headaches she was experiencing. This provided some relief, but at times they were so severe nothing seemed to help. Then on Wednesday, the headaches increased and she became quite ill. I called her doctor who told me to take her to the emergency room at the hospital. Adam, Butch and I took her to the local hospital immediately, where, after examination, she was admitted. At that time, I thought she was going to be all right, but blood tests showed that she had a blood borne disease, and a Cat Scan revealed that she had suffered a series of what the doctor called wet strokes resulting in significant brain damage. Because of the seriousness of her condition, she was medivaced to Cooper hospital in Camden where further tests were done. A second Cat Scan revealed massive bleeding in her brain and the head of the critical care unit told me that there was nothing more that could be done, because of the damage to Karen’s brain and that she was in fact, brain dead. We then learned that the cause of all of this was leukemia.

I was privileged to have shared 15 of the best years of my life with Karen. I had hoped that it would have been 50. That is not to be.

Death has taken her from us, but though our relationship to Karen has changed it has not ended. She is closer to Jesus now than she has ever been. And her love and her life will continue to be with us.

Thank you all for coming. Your being here is a further testimony to the ways in which the beautiful flower that was Karen touched your lives.

JORDAN

What I love about Mom.

Mom was always so loving and helpful. She would always remind us to do the things we needed to do. She was helpful when last year I was having trouble with math. She kept on trying to help me. Now this year I am doing better at math. At night mom was also very loving. She would always have time to say good night to me, and she would try to read to us as many times each week at night as possible. Mom was giving and would do things to please us. She would let us play football, or Starcraft. Mom was also very creative in skits or costumes. She would help make or come up with good skits or costumes. Mom was a very wonderful mother who always loved us and tried to help me.

DEREK

What I remember about Mom

Mom was the best mom in the world. She was caring for me when I was sick, hurt, or sad. Mom was fun joining in skits and playing games. She was loving to people in the community, people she met, and me. Mom was creative in making costumes and planning skits. She was busy but always answered my questions. Mom was always faithful towards other people and towards God. I enjoyed it when she would read books to my family and draw with me. Mom was always self-giving to other people, but most of all she was my loving parent. I am going to miss my mom’s fun, faithfulness, cheerfulness, self-givingness, but most of all love.

Karen Niles, an original member and dearest friend, died on Thursday, May 1st, Ascension Day. Unexpectedly, she had a rapid onset of leukemia that resulted in multiple strokes. She was 43 and is survived by her husband, Tim, and two boys, Jordan and Derek. We loved her beyond words. She was an incredibly kind and giving person and she loved God completely. Our loss is great, but she is now in the presence of our Lord and awaits us for the dawning of the New Creation.

Please pray for us during this difficult time.

Karen M. Niles age 43 of Hammonton, passed away May 1, 2008. Karen was born and raised in Wilmington, DE. After high school she attended University of Delaware for 1 year, she received missionary training at Hammonton based Life Mission Training Center in 1984. Her charitable work took her to Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, the Philippines, U.S. Virgin Islands and various U.S. locations. She served in a variety of capacities during her 24 years with Life Mission, mainly focusing on administration, worship and hospitality. Karen loved God and people. Her smile brought joy to everyone she met. She tirelessly served people. She enjoyed birding, music, and reading, but her greatest joy was loving, serving, and knowing people. Her absence has left a giant hole in the life and hearts of her family and friends. Her presence will always be felt as she now lives out her life before the face of God. Karen is survived by her husband Timothy Niles, her sons Jordan and Derek at home, her mother Helen Wolfe and her sister Kathy Saffouri. Family and friends are invited to attend her viewing Tues. eve 5:00pm with services at 7:30pm at Life Mission Fellowship, 111 8th St Hammonton. Donations may be made in lieu of flowers to Life Mission Fellowship (PO Box 467 Hammonton, NJ 08037) for the creation of a memorial garden in Karen’s memory. Arrangements by Marinella Funeral Home Hammonton 609-561-1311 (www.marinellafuneralhome.com).

Spring has sprung and we are enjoying the lovely blossoms. Singing Joyful, Joyful this morning in our devotions, I had fresh appreciation for the words, “Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee.” God’s loveliness opens our hearts and changes us.

Recently I’ve been thinking about forgiveness. In community there are many opportunities to practice forgiveness. Alec Brooks, who visits us from time to time, shared with us this last week on this very topic. His message was a blessing to us and confirms the things we were seeing about forgiveness. The main idea is that forgiveness is not a duty that devoted Christians must do, but a natural expression of a life of grace. The key is seeing everything in terms of relationships versus having a legal outlook.

Here are a few quotes from Alec’s messages (they may not be exact quotes):

Forgiveness transforms people. If we treat forgiveness legally it’s over in a moment. Forgiveness is not about getting the slate wiped cleaned, it’s about transforming our relationships.

It’s never about spiritual bookkeeping. It’s about the grace of God which is personal and relational.

The primary image for forgiveness is manifesting and sharing redemptive grace. Grace is about intended well-being for the other. To forgive someone is to intend them good. The grace I’ve received I extend to you.

Forgiveness takes the person seriously and values the person. It says that I want to be in relation to you and I’m willing to pay the cost so our relationship can be restored.

You can download and listen to his messages here:

Forgiveness part 1
Forgiveness part 2
Forgiveness part 3

We’re blessed to have a new member of our community, Hannah Robinson Poat. Sam & Kelcy’s bundle of joy came into the world on February 29, 2008 (a leap year baby!) at 5:29 a.m. At 7 lbs 1 oz. and 20 1/2 inches she greeted the world in good health and instantly became the delight of all the community.

What is forgiveness? I always kind of had the thought that forgiveness was what you did when you were wronged, a duty you owed people because you’re a Christian. But now I see that forgiveness is nothing more than a side-effect of a choice to not conduct my relationships in a legal fashion, to not relate to people in a rights and duties posture. Forgiveness just is an expression of living generously and going for communion rather than contract in my relationships.

Seeing the gospel through a relationship lens, rather than a legal one, changes everything. Sin is a relational problem not a legal one. Community is at the heart of God and is the focus of the Kingdom message. The liberty that salvation brings means genuine communion. Forgiveness is the healing mechanism between Kingdom citizens when relationships are broken. Because we no longer relate to others out of a concern that our account remains balanced, we are free to pardon any transgressions against us since union is our goal.

Forgiveness is the sometimes difficult, but reasonable (and even joyful) response to an injury for someone seeking to live out the Kingdom vision.

Easter is a busy time, so I haven’t been able to post much lately. But the good news is that our building renovations are complete! We received our approvals and are all moved in. Later I will post a bunch of pictures to show the beautiful work in all its glory, but for now here are a couple shots.

“Nine-tenths of our suffering is caused by others not thinking so much of us as we think they ought.” — Mary Lyon