Alert: Brainy ruminations ahead…

I’ve been studying Orthodox theology lately, and one of the main concepts talked about is that there is no being without communion. I see some profound implications from that. If being is rooted in will or individuality, then the actualization (expression) of our will (e.g. pursuing our dreams, discovering our gifts, and achieving personal goals) becomes supremely important. If, however, being is rooted in communion, then the development of relationships, journeying together through the ups and downs of life, and relational holiness become supremely important. More simply put, if we matter only by being all we can be (as the Army says), then our own growth and enjoyment must come first. On the other hand, if our identity and significance (our personhood) come from community, then our relationships are infinitely important.

Relationships are difficult because you are dealing with unique perspectives, desires, and will. The blending of these requires mutual voluntary choice and regard. Everyone has to willingly cherish each other and not assert their desires and will over and against the other. Each person has to be valued and loved for themselves and not for what they can give. This requires a release of control and a forfeiture of power.

If my destiny lies in the exercise of my will and personal fulfillment, then I will have a low tolerance for relational difficulties. When I bump up against the contours of others, if that causes me a lot of discomfort, I will have little patience to stay in the game and nurture that relationship. But if my destiny and ultimate happiness lies in sharing and fellowship in relationships, then I have no other option than to work through difficulties and seek personal change that enables me to be capable of communion.

Orthodox theology teaches us that we receive our personhood from one another in relationships. We really do need each other.