Alert: Brainy ruminations ahead…

I’ve been studying Orthodox theology lately, and one of the main concepts talked about is that there is no being without communion. I see some profound implications from that. If being is rooted in will or individuality, then the actualization (expression) of our will (e.g. pursuing our dreams, discovering our gifts, and achieving personal goals) becomes supremely important. If, however, being is rooted in communion, then the development of relationships, journeying together through the ups and downs of life, and relational holiness become supremely important. More simply put, if we matter only by being all we can be (as the Army says), then our own growth and enjoyment must come first. On the other hand, if our identity and significance (our personhood) come from community, then our relationships are infinitely important.

Relationships are difficult because you are dealing with unique perspectives, desires, and will. The blending of these requires mutual voluntary choice and regard. Everyone has to willingly cherish each other and not assert their desires and will over and against the other. Each person has to be valued and loved for themselves and not for what they can give. This requires a release of control and a forfeiture of power.

If my destiny lies in the exercise of my will and personal fulfillment, then I will have a low tolerance for relational difficulties. When I bump up against the contours of others, if that causes me a lot of discomfort, I will have little patience to stay in the game and nurture that relationship. But if my destiny and ultimate happiness lies in sharing and fellowship in relationships, then I have no other option than to work through difficulties and seek personal change that enables me to be capable of communion.

Orthodox theology teaches us that we receive our personhood from one another in relationships. We really do need each other.

Alec Brooks, president of Charis International, recently returned from a trip to Africa. As a result, Charis is now working on another project focused on relief efforts in Rwanda.

Raped, widowed, and infected with the HIV/AIDS virus, these hardworking victims of the Rwanda genocide long for a chance to support themselves and the 125 children they care for.

To find out more, visit the project pages of Charis.

Each of God’s children brings a unique gift to the body of Christ.  It is special and uniquely reflects the beauty and mystery of the individual.  It contributes something vital and wonderful.  It may be hard for us to identify what our special gift is, but perhaps that’s because it is wrong to think of our gift as a special talent or ability.  In truth, our gift is us.

What we offer has more to do with our lives in totality: who we are as a person, our likes and dislikes, our idiosyncrasies, our experience, our creativity, our way of seeing the world, and our special approach to things.  This is why it might be hard to see what our gift is, because it’s not something apart from us.  It’s not something we possess that we give to others.  We are our gift.

It is hard for us to see “us.”  Others can see “us,” but we can’t see “us” very well.  The gift of us is ethereal, intangible, subtle, and spiritual.  It is the life-effect of our lives.  It’s the bright spot we bring on the human scene.  And often, it is only truly understood when we’re gone.

It’s been a year now since Karen’s death. As I reflect on her absence, the gift of her becomes more real to me.  She filled a place that enriched me.  Her life-effect stimulated and beautified me.  The way she was, her presence, her laugh, her kindness, her way, her take on things, her smile – they changed me.

I can still feel her effect.  I’m conscious that I’m a different person for knowing her.  I’m richer, I’m happier, I am more whole.  She has been mingled into my personality and I’ve become an amalgamated soul, so much closer to God and so much closer to man.

Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he will never see death.”  The life that God brings cannot be extinguished.  It is indestructible.  It is eternal.  Because of God, we live forever, and because of the love and fellowship of the Church we never pass away.  Orthodox theologian John Zizioulas puts it this way:

“When the eucharistic community keeps alive the memory of our loved ones – living as well as dead – it does not just preserve a psychological recollection; it proceeds to an act of ontology, to the assurance that the person has the final word over nature, in the same way that God the Creator as person and not as nature had the very first word.”

We find our being in communion.  That’s why community is essential.  Individualism robs us of our personhood.  We are more important to each other than we tend to think.  And that doesn’t end at death.

We’re living out love and trying to widen that circle wherever we can.